It's been hard for me to deal with such a profound shift in my life, having this beautiful baby. My life was so intensely tied up in the farm and now it is all Ruth all the time. To so suddenly have to let go of so many things is probably the hardest thing about having a child for me. But when I get to whisper to Ruth in the quiet moments about our friendship and how we'll learn so much from each other in this brief existence we have here, I tear up a little and experience a weird but profound feeling I've never felt before, and there isn't anything in my life to which I can compare that feeling. So I guess that feeling is what motherhood is all about. And of course changing lots of poopy diapers day after day.