This year has been a very challenging one for us. Especially for me. I've been feeling very small lately, as if I'm at the base of a massive mountain I have to climb whether I want to or not. And it is full of wicked, endless switchbacks. Like I'm stuck in some kind of mold I've created for myself. Maybe I should look at it as if I'm in a cocoon and will at some point come out all transformed and shit into whatever happens to be my destiny. But I don't think it works like that. I have to play a hand in this one.
We had melon mania this past week. We tossed a lot of melons that didn't make the cut back behind the prep area in the woods near our shittake set-up. Yesterday I was feeling tired and down and out and I went to water a rhododendron back in the area where we tossed the melons and it was like walking into some other dimension of reality. There were loads and loads of swallowtails on the old melons, slowly, silently and ever so gracefully opening and closing their iridescent wings while sipping the nectar. They were stunningly beautiful. Seeing them was as much a reprieve from my own oppression as that sweet juice was for them in the oppressive heat. I guess I need to make all moments like that one somehow, someway.